Codependency

Conflict most frequently surfaces when one partner begins to define their identity outside of the relationship which is a necessary and healthy transition. However, this can feel threatening when codependency is a prominent element in the relationship. I work with couples to develop strategies to increase their sense of safety within the relationship and empower them to further develop their autonomy and sense of self within the relationship.

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

This is a term that I don't use because I find a more accurate description of codependency is one that recognizes its roots in attachment wounds that often play out in family dynamics. Framing the boundary issues, emotional needs, relationship dynamics and control struggles that are common in co-dependency helps target the underlying and often wordless coping mechanisms and triggers that aid in treatment.

Perhaps you seek a “coming home” to yourself in a way that feels safe & meaningful. Perhaps you long to understand yourself in relationships or in the world around you where you consider your needs as much as those around you. Being a people pleaser can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout. I am honored to walk alongside you as we explore and process all that you hold within you. You are allowed to let go, breathe and prioritize your wellbeing.

I help people recover from people-pleasing, perfectionism, and other ways of coping with that uneasy feeling of insecurity in relationships. I know how it feels to feel like you’re holding up the sky and that you must earn your place in someone’s life. Working with me, you’ll learn to set and keep boundaries, say no, and politely inform others how to interact with you in ways that are safe for you. You’ll grow your capacity to radically love and support yourself as you heal.

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

Have you been feeling anxious, depressed, or find that you have a hard time saying no to people? Do you find that you often end up feeling like you need to help or fix a loved one's problems? Do you struggle with boundaries, people pleasing and unbalanced relationships? You don't have to do this alone. Having a therapist that's experienced in codependency treatment will support you in addressing underlying issues that have been keeping you stuck.

Codependency may show up as people pleasing and denying one's own needs. I like the famous analogy of being on an airplane: to be in a relationship, we must tend to ourselves (put on our own gas masks before helping others). Life is about relationships and there is none more important than the relationship we have with ourselves. To treat codependency, I draw on the teachings of theorists such as John Bradshaw, Pia Mellody, and Melody Beattie.

I am Meadows Model and PIT trained in co-dependency and co-dependency recovery. I worked in a Meadows facility for nearly two years were I provided ongoing codependency treatment to individuals living with trauma and addiction.

Jordan helps clients move from painful and draining codependence to a nourishing balance of inter- and independence. Knowledgeable in both 12-step and other recovery networks, Jordan works with her clients to find appropriate support while exploring the root cause of codependency.

When you give so much of yourself to others, it can feel like you lose parts of yourself in the process You might find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your true inner feelings. Together, you can learn to recognize and honor your inner voice, trust your intuition, and integrate the different parts of yourself enabling you to live life more fully and authentic to who you are.

Is it challenging for you to say "No" to your partner, parent, boss or co-workers? Do you find yourself wondering if you are helping too much, or giving too much of yourself, your independence or your personal power away? The art of managing your personal boundaries in a way that supports you and your relationships in a healthy and authentic way is part of the ongoing work of growing into a fuller, more realized version of yourself.

Do you find your mood dependent on those around you and no matter what you do you feel the need to keep them happy? You want to be able to have a say in the way you respond but your nervous system tells you that it's not safe and people could leave you or reject you. Clients come to me looking for a therapist to help them create a secure attachment, regulate their nervous system and become more comfortable with saying "no" when they want to.

Codependency means so much more than enabling with someone you love and today this idea has expanded to include adults who may or may not have lived with an addict. Codependency can more accurately be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own; accommodating to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.

Codependency is when we make decision for ourself that consider those around us more than we are considering ourselves even when it does not serve us. Many people want to feel needed, yet hold in resentment when they are making decisions that benefit everyone around them but not themselves. In the context of couples, it is important to consider each individual and their needs. Together, we will work towards helping you find your worth outside of being needed by others.

I understand how folks struggling with codependency deeply care for others and often leave their own needs overlooked. Together, we’ll work on setting healthy boundaries, building self-worth, and learning how to prioritize your emotional well-being without guilt. I’m here to support you in finding balance, reclaiming your independence, and nurturing the relationships that truly serve you. You deserve to feel empowered and whole, not responsible for everyone else’s happiness.